I’ve always wanted to visit Amsterdam. My only knowledge of it had come from films and paintings – the canals and bicycles, the red light district, the Van Gogh Museum and the cannabis culture. In July 2023, we finally got there, and it was just as I imagined. 

Day One:  False Starts and Fire Places

We caught the train from London (Eurostar) and stayed in an Airbnb in Koggestraat, five minutes’ walk from Amsterdam Centraal. Or fifteen minutes if, like us, you turn right instead of left as soon as you leave the station.

It was another splendid Airbnb, if a little weird. It was a massive room with a private courtyard in an old renovated warehouse, refurbished to look antique. It came complete with a huge stone fireplace and a fake fire which lit up and crackled but didn’t let off any heat. Why, for pity’s sake?

After dumping our bags and checking out the facilities, we set off to explore our immediate neighbourhood. We like to establish important landmarks when we stay in a new European destination, like finding the nearest grocery store to stock up on wine, the best place for breakfast, and – in the case of Amsterdam – a handy cannabis cafe. Just joking! You can buy the stuff with your wine at the grocery store😁.

We went to a local Italian restaurant for our first night’s dinner, mainly because it was a stone’s throw from our digs and a day of train travelling and walking had worn us out. It was fabulous food – probably the best meal we had in Amsterdam – but horribly overpriced. We calculated my ravioli cost €5 a mouthful.

And so to bed, listening to the fake crackling of our fake fire, excited for the next four days of adventure in Amsterdam.

Day Two:  Anne Frank, Canals and Flea Markets

This was one of the quotes from her diary displayed in the annex:

I don’t want to have lived in vain like most people. I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living even after my death!

I cried.

In need of a change of pace, we left the museum and headed for our next pre-booked activity – a canal cruise. Luckily, the day was warm with little bursts of sunshine through the clouds. A perfect day to see the city from the water. 

We were welcomed aboard by our skipper, Tom, a local Amsterdam resident who – like most Amsterdam residents – spoke perfect English. 

It was a beautiful Venice-style motorboat with white seats, an awning and two large tables. On the tables was a spread of cheese, biscuits, olives and other snacks. Tom gave us – his ten passengers – a little welcome speech and then asked what we would like to drink. Everything was on offer: beer, wine, champagne, gin and tonics, you name it.

Once he poured our drinks and got underway, Tom announced that, as the skipper, he couldn’t drive the boat and refresh our drinks at the same time, so please could we help ourselves or appoint one of the passengers to be the barman. A nice young American lady volunteered her services.

This was going to be a good cruise!

For the next two hours, we motored through the canals of Amsterdam, nibbling on cheese, while we sipped our wine and listened to Tom’s fascinating facts about the city, like:

By the time we finished our cruise, no one wanted to get off. Russell asked for a top-up of wine and please could we go round again because the day couldn’t get any better than this.  Sadly, the answer was no.

So, we reluctantly disembarked and started exploring the rest of the city on foot.  That’s how we found ourselves in the Ropa Fleamarket where we bought an antique magnifying glass, as you do.

Day Three:  Ferries and Funky Art

I wanted to go shopping in Amsterdam. Apparently, the best place for that is De Negen Straatjes (The 9 Streets) in the Jordaan District. So that’s where we went.

It was a lovely part of the city, with some fabulous boutiques and little artsy shops. I bought a string of red wooden fish because I could squeeze them into my backpack.

Quite apart from the fact that Amsterdam has around 1,300 more kilometres of canals than Venice (no, I didn’t know that either), it also has a huge river running through it, the Amstel, with lots of funky stuff happening on the other side.

Done shopping, we caught the ferry to Buiksloterweg because there’s supposed to be an amazing view back across the city from the A’dam Lookout, but they wanted to charge us €16 a head for the pleasure, so we left.

Here’s the view we missed, with Amsterdam Centraal railway station in the foreground.

Then we caught another ferry to NDSM (which stands for the Netherlands Dock and Shipbuilding Company, in Dutch of course), and had lunch overlooking the river before wandering through the redeveloped warehouses and wharf area. NDSM – a former shipyard – is now a trendy arts district where they hold festivals, exhibitions, and dance parties.

None of that was going on the day we went, but we did see some pretty wacky art installations and bars.

Day Four:  When in Amsterdam. . .Bicycle

It had to happen.

You can’t visit Amsterdam without cycling somewhere. I refused to bike in the centre of town (the other riders are insane!), but I was quite happy to cycle out into the countryside, which is surprisingly accessible.

So, we hired a couple of push bikes, debated whether or not to get electric versions, and then decided not to be such wimps because everyone knows there aren’t any hills in The Netherlands.

I’d done some research the night before and we planned to visit the town of Zaandam which, according to Apple Maps, was about a 90-minute ride once we’d caught the ferry across the river.

All the reviews wrote about Zaandam’s zany and colourful architecture and, as a bonus, there was the community of Zaanse Schans on its doorstep. This is what the website says:

Zaanse Schans is beautiful, unique and full of windmills, handicraft shops and museums.  It’s a residential area in which the 18th and 19th centuries are brought to life.

Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? 

It wasn’t.

But let me start with the good bits.

The 90-minute ride was actually two and a half hours but, on the plus side, it was mostly a wonderful gentle roll through the glorious Dutch countryside and I saw my first windmill. Yippee! 

We stopped for a coffee in a lakeside cafe and basked in the pleasure of it all.

It started going downhill from there.

Actually, I stand corrected. It started going uphill from there, into a strong headwind.

I can attest there are definitely hills in The Netherlands and they’re all between Amsterdam and Zaandam. We puffed and panted our way up them for the last hour, into the wind, cursing our decision not to hire electric bikes.

Finally, after two and a half hours, we arrived at Zaanse Schans and it was. . . ghastly.

The first thing to greet us was a stadium-sized car park, full of coaches offloading hoards of Chinese tourists. That should have been our first clue.

The village itself is a manufactured hodgepodge of old Dutch buildings and windmills, which look okay from a distance, but their internal offerings were pure tourist tat.  You could visit the clog workshop, or the weaver’s house, or make your own hot chocolate at the cocoa factory. You get the idea. It was tackyville on steroids, designed to appeal to parents of bored tweens.

We did a half circuit of the village, got back on our bikes and kept going for Zaandam, which was a surprising delight.  It’s full of colourful buildings, particularly in the centre which looks more like Lego Land than a real town.

After a quick bite of lunch, we started the dreaded bike ride back to Amsterdam, but this time we took the more direct and less scenic route, cutting a good 40 minutes and several hills off the journey.

My legs were aching, my bottom was sore and I was exhausted. We dumped the bikes at the hire shop and found a nearby bar with a menu of 51 Dutch craft beers. We did our best to sample as many as possible. It didn’t cure my sore bum but it helped to dull the pain.

Day Five. Rained Off.

It was bucketing down, which was a pity as Amsterdam is such a walkable place. Instead, we spent the day on the hop-on-hop-off bus, which we were loathe to hop off because it was too wet.

It was a good opportunity to see other parts of the city, including the Museumkwartier (Museum Quarter), which is home to some of the best museums and galleries in The Netherlands, including the Van Gogh Museum.

We did hop off here, hoping to soak up a bit of culture, but the queues and prices were wild, so we had lunch at one of the museum cafes instead and hopped back on the bus.

We found a nice dry spot for our last dinner, Indian as it happened. Almost as good as the Italian on our first night, and just as overpriced!

Bedankt, Amsterdam. It’s been fun.

Side Note

I was disappointed not to see the Van Gough Museum on our last day in Amsterdam, but the idea of queuing in the rain for an hour with a gazillion other tourists was enough of a deterrent.

So, it was with great excitement that we managed to get into the Van Gough Exhibit (the Immersive Experience) in London only a few weeks later.

For me, it was the best way to experience his art: To be literally immersed in his pictures as they morphed on the walls around me, touch the vase of flowers, and look into his bedroom in Arles; to pull on the VR goggles, walk through the night cafe, and fly with the crows over the wheatfields, the harvest and into the starry, starry night.  It was so magical we went round twice!

I learned more about Van Gough, his motivation, his art and his state of mind in that couple of hours than I ever would by looking at his masterpieces on a gallery wall. Even a gallery wall in Amsterdam. Highly recommended.